We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

bed

by Owen Duff

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Includes a pdf of the album's lyrics.
    Purchasable with gift card

      £7 GBP  or more

     

1.
Have this song with my regards May it act as a guard May it protect you May it be your friend This song's the love of parents Their endless reassurance From your beginning to your end In life imperfect Which of us truly gets what we need So keep this song inside you A light that's there to guide you On your journey wherever it leads
2.
Pressed closer together Than the pages of a book We lay lovers undercover Away from judging looks We were as gay as Genet on Uranus I played a refrain to sustain us To sustain us To sustain us To sustain us The world unravelled below your window We saw the wars given birth Then I had a vision of divisions Portending the end of the Earth As loons mined the moon to wound us I crooned a tune to cocoon us To cocoon us To cocoon us To cocoon To cocoon us Ooh us I saw our books start to combust The room turn to dust Our bed to rust Left naked in the paper white I started to write The story of The story of us No more songs played after that day Our tale too is sad to see One of rebel lovers discovered The only way it could be But when they came To defame and maim us We remained in the flames And were shameless We were shameless We were shameless In the flames we remained Shameless
3.
Outside billions of hearts are beating Under sheets, ours meet like the last two alive Biology beseeches us to be breeding He he Can we survive When we've missed the whole point of the creating collision Of seeds species and stars I don't know why or what made the decision But the one for me you are It's a joy dear to join you in your silence In the black in this lack of light we're unknown To know is a verb of unspeakable violence But I can't leave you alone I'm breaking through into that hole where you've been hiding Your sin your skin your scars I don't know why or what did the deciding But the one for me you are Two outlaws here tarry and talk The town around lit with pitchforks Fire for the firebrands The rabble roared our rebels ran I read this somewhere in a book A tale in which refuge I took As long ago I came to know How different I was to those Whose hearts beat loud and proud in mocking and derision Who would put us apart They'll never see nor hear of our division Those billions of beating hearts
4.
I watch him pray to God at night In search of The praise or punishment The permission or admonishment For love He sees our love as sin inside His clean heart Still I cannot decide To put aside his love despite The dissonance The dissonance The dissonance He's tried everything Everywhere he's looked for the answer I tell him faith means belief In the absence of answers To the dissonance The dissonance The dissonance One day we will be released from our bodies And harmony will come No more judgement No more shame No struggle No pain We deserve that Please say we do Promise we do
5.
Pothos 07:04
In black turmoil As crude as oil We pull and push That rock-like bones Might melt like stone Liquid you Liquid me A solution And in that dark, dark place I could not see your face Could just construct By what I touched and heard and smelled and tasted And in this slick of sleep Our slackened bodies steep Mute they mimic the daylit dance The cracked tectonics of our romance Vast intimacy infinitesimal distance Tricked by this slick Foiled by this oil It's sad to say We cannot merge Despite our urge But one day After days have past A black hole may Our way pass And fuse our scattered atoms Together at last
6.
Hand me the kindling The fire is dwindling You laughed the candle out Drunk in the dark Is all well there's our spark And a while 'til the Rhine wine runs out But do you know what I'm thinking of? A drinkless den and a lightless love Who long ago enquired Whether or not the fire He felt was returned And I'm ashamed to say I left the next day That boy with his fingers burned Now at this table I seek to make stable So glass and candle stay I find myself asking As those in my past did Whether or not you will stray This fear I have You can't comprehend 'Til you've spurned your own share of men Who've declared their desire Their hearts all on fire All to no avail 'Til you've flitted and fled From barroom to bed and to yourself said "Onwards to the spark that cannot fail" I fear the table's turn I know I will be burned
7.
One Word 03:01
Should I be shocked to wake at night To stare out of the window and see my face in the sky And should I be shocked to realise that you Are just as illusory as that aforementioned image of me And that that's why I need I need to hear that one word To make it all feel real I need to hear that one word That one word That one word That one word Men and women go two by two Highly in agreement - does that exclude me and you If they are light then are we the dark Kicked off of the ark to swim forever in search of lighthouse beams Because that's how it seems I need to hear that one word To make it all feel real I need to hear that one word That one word That one word That one word Did I ever really know you Right at the start when everything was new Now you're just a mirror in the dark An unspoken remark A space on the ark I need to hear that one word That one word That one word That one word
8.
Our bed is a graveyard Our love is a corpse Dumbstruck Stuck in the muck Spinning and Spinning and Spinning and Spinning and Spinning and Spinning in the soil of our sex In our mutual disrespect Little death Little death The mattress springs are singing The cemetery gates are swinging In the wind I'm reaching oblivion The obliterate Every stroke Spasm and choke Moving and Living and Breathing and Pro and Receding 'til it all ends in tears Until everything that brought us here Disappears Until the names our parents gave us Are nothing more than an engraver's Weekday work It means nothing Nothing Nothing
9.
This part always makes me cry You sighed I raised my eyes Thinking See Empedocles wasn't right I do not have you in my sights Unenlightened You are dark And under the arc Of a hundred-watt halo A question mark Invoking an answer I don't want to know Lighthearted Lightheaded I will stay until you go Until you go Hello I said You reached the bed The music then lifted Our hands to our heads Closed our eyes This part This part This part always makes me Light of heart Until we part Light of head Until it's said This part always makes us cry
10.
Spaces 05:25
I do not Want to see The spaces where You used to be So I'll drop my sights To block the light That shows the spots Where you are not Are you happy with your new love Is it easier for you I'd only have given you more of The trouble You'd struggled to lose That you'd leave Was my fear So I made you Disappear I was scared your love would lose Its gleam and glow So with one breath I made it so Are you happy with your new love Is it easier for you I'd only have given you more of The trouble You'd struggled to lose It's not for this lost love I grieve But for the loss of love completely
11.
Souvenirs 02:54
Am I the fading flower Forgotten on your chair Am I the photograph removed from your white walls And shoved somewhere Between your books Or in a box under your bed Am I Am I Am I Am I nowhere Well let me tell you dear You are my own sad set of souvenirs You're a ticket An empty lighter A half-done sketch that I have cleared Into a drawer And yes of course You are photos that I look at from time to time And know that I Could no more climb into them And be with you there Than I could play Picasso’s violins Or hug the Scream Or touch the Mona Lisa’s hair Or smell Vincent's fading flowers Or fall down in his chair
12.
Two Houses 03:20
I saw your forlorn face today In the form of a forsaken derelict house The place bore many decades' decay 'Though it's four years and three days Since you went south Cracked wooden lips Framed the abyss In its doorway of a mouth Torn curtain tears Streamed from its broken window eyes I still live in the old house you knew I still sleep in the same room You shared with me A maintain all that I'm able to 'Though the roof lets the rain through And it rains constantly And some days I retrace The route I used to take Between your house and mine Just to be by your side So long ago So long ago
13.
A Rebours 03:46
I'll tread the trail over the hill then Though thinking of my children My stride aligned with now Nothing more I stand against nature I stand a rebours Apex bound I predate and prey Beyond the end Where I am is where I'll stay Oh mother Father 'Though wind blows closed your doors Rest easy Time can't touch the son who stands A rebours For the wound I am cautery I'm the cure for the disease After forty days and forty nights I am the ark that sails the seas The story's in the telling The truth is the belief Up and on I'll push all preciousness aside But at the peak I will tarry and not stride Precipitous Precarious The path I stand before I am I want I question it no more I can do no other I stand A rebours
14.
The richest life for you With all the happiness and joy the world has in it And a full heart I couldn't win it But I wish you all the best I truly do Years ago in your room We planned a life full of adventure and collusion And 'though now I'm sad and disillusioned I don't regret and won't forget our love in bloom If you'd have told me then that the songs I wrote Would be all that would make it out alive I'd have cried I'm sure And even more To think that anything I write will likely not survive that far beyond me But I'm older now And the crying's done And I know enough to care only that I loved you at all That we shared what we shared So meagre So overwhelming Wherever you may be I hope you've what you need and some of your desires That you're cared for loved and admired And that your life is rich Is my only wish To you From me In loving memory

about

bed is a concept album about love and loss. Its songs are structured chronologically, with the first and last tracks bookending a narrative which tells the the story of a gay relationship, progressing from the heady joy of romantic desire, through doubt and grief, to eventual acceptance and gratitude.

Rich in imagery and allusion, bed makes references to everything from queer literary icons like Jean Genet and Joris-Karl Huysmans to the bible, ancient Greek mythology and visual art. Musical motifs echo and repeat throughout the work.

credits

released June 24, 2022

All words and music by Owen Duff, except:
Drums: Liam Hutton, tracks 3, 6 and 7
Saxophone and woodwind: Brian Donohoe, tracks 3, 4 and 7
Bass guitar: Jemila Dunham, track 7; Zoltan Renaldi, track 3
Violin: Maria Grigoryeva, track 3

Mastered by Philip Shaw Bova

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Owen Duff London, UK

A true adherent to the DIY ethos, Owen Duff creates everything related to his music, from artwork to videos, as well as playing/programming nearly all of the instruments on his songs. His songs that blend influences from folk, 60s chamber pop, electronica, film and TV scores and jazz. Owen's lyrics are inspired by books, films, TV, high and low culture, politics and personal experience. ... more

contact / help

Contact Owen Duff

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Owen Duff recommends:

If you like Owen Duff, you may also like: