Realityicide

by Owen Duff

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1.
02:45
We are worried for your health We fear you have damaged yourself For what else But the race? The race For the race For the race Well I saw you out crawling to the crashing sea You were out walking with the elderly You were running out of money Running out of time Driving yourself to the end of the line Well the candle in your heart wasn’t strong enough Your torch-bulb blew, the weather was rough Then the light-house did it, lit your destiny And it only showed you where you didn’t want to be In the race In the race In the race
2.
02:43
The role of controller I never gave over to you And I spy the codebreaker covertly collecting the clues Trying to find the key The combination by which you would master me You sense an aversion to anger and angry you get And a friend who fears tears will find you regularly upset As victim you appear While expertly you dominate by fear I know why you need the whole world to be under your thumb If not at your command you could be abandoned by anyone It’s a game I’ve played too Never as often or as well as you I’m sorry for what made you so tough I’m sorry But not sorry enough
3.
03:24
I don’t want to die I want to kill the way things are Any way I spin it There’s no way to win it There’s no money in it Who cares, who cares, who cares? On the wall a fly Waits to see what happens next As I make appointments With profound disappointment Gainful employment Oh no, oh no, oh no I’ll find a pit in which to sit Some gloomy nook to read my books Not for me, gay Paree Sunny Spain On a ‘plane Oh, I don’t want to die (Who cares?)
4.
03:24
Would you have learned to walk If you’d given up the first time you fell down? Would you be able to talk If you’d been afraid to make a foolish sound? And yet you expect to be perfect At everything the first time around now Well come on, come on, come on, come on and Fail with Come on and fail with Come on fail with me There is who you are And there is what you do Keep them apart Don’t let yourself get them confused ‘Cos if doing well is what makes you yourself You’ll be destroyed each time you lose So come on, come on, come on, come on and Fail with Come on set sail And sink with me
5.
02:53
Our self-centred chatter Bored me to the core Too scared to say so I sat for hours more Thinking of the sea Tides turning internally Imagining beauty Unreality Our heads are like planets Red-hot under skulls Speaking like volcanoes Makes life wonderful But you remain remote Our flow is disrupted Still inside I hope Uninterrupted
6.
Hands so handsome Fingers meet thumb Wood encircling lead Draw out the thread The path I tread You make a drawing I may go walking Crack of bracken, trees roar in sun Then come undone Timber! Mankind mulches, bleaches and cuts Roots underfoot Paths paper white So bright Pencil marks Sully Into Night
7.
So fucking bored Trapped in a box heading for the 7th floor The most basic thoughts Crawling up the steeple, promoted ‘til they are all chairmen of the board Once I slept on the floor of a train From Paris to Venice and again On the deck of a ferry where I howled “hallelujah” out into the rain So why am I wasting my life For the money, money, money, money? Not living, I’m dying for the money I heard a chord Outside of the window an angel I saw And up he soared Rang a bell for me, but I had to take a call I thought of ‘planes and towers and Birkenau Thought where fate can take you and how Your luck can change quickly so if you’re gonna do somehting you better do it now And yet I’m here, year after year still fearing No money, money, money, money Not living, I’m dying for the money A siren’s shriek Was dragging my life out and down onto the street The mast too weak I called my angel, prayed that my falling didn’t mean defeat In dreams I pulled the false gods from the sky Pulled them down to Earth to ask them why The world they created keeps me trapped in a box and makes the angels cry Those dreams that free me I see sold straight back to me For the money, money, money, money Not living, I’m dying for the money

about

“I don’t want to die, I want to kill the way things are”. This seven song cycle expresses a dissatisfaction with the everyday realities of life, death, the world and the relationships between the people in it, and an intense yearning for an escape to something or somewhere better –through dreams, fictions and other unrealities.

Six of the songs presented in the EP were extracted from Owen Duff’s project ’20 Two Minutes 4 Weeks’, a set of 20 songs written and recorded in the space of a month. Remixed, re-recorded, expanded and re-arranged, the songs from that project are now presented in a coherent and lush soundscape of woodwind, guitar, piano, percussion and violins, with hints of modern electronica and vintage echo.

credits

released November 28, 2011

All songs written and performed by Owen Duff. Woodwind on 'The Race' and 'Realityicide' performed by Craig White. Drums on 'Dying for the Money' by Shay Godwin at www.edrumsessions.com.

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Owen Duff London, UK

A true adherent to the DIY ethos, Owen Duff creates everything related to his music, from artwork to videos, as well as playing/programming nearly all of the instruments on his songs. His songs that blend influences from folk, 60s chamber pop, electronica, film and TV scores and jazz. Owen's lyrics are inspired by books, films, TV, high and low culture, politics and personal experience. ... more

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